please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
