I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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