My underwear smells like fireworks.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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