it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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