you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
