i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
