My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
