i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
