I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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