I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
