Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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