Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
