ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
