where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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