out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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