her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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