the new term for farting is butt boxing.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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