carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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