we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
