the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Randomize
