My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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