Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
