I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize