yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Randomize
