I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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