Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
