I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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