I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
