so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
