I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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