What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize