I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
