i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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