I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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