you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
