why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
