Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
