Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
