I wish I only lived at night.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
