Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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