This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
