let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
