Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
