I wanna bring you to show and tell
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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