Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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