why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
