all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
