His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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