i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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