Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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