just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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