so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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