Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
