I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
