the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
