Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
