I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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