____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
