The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
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