He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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