That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
