apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize