my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
