Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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